Anybody Have a Gummy?
It was my fiftieth birthday, the significance of which is obvious; from that point forward, I was old to anyone born this century. My birthday is in December, and I am accustomed to a muted celebration, and even though your fiftieth is a landmark day, another low-key birthday was all I wanted. My wife and I were in Colorado at our mountain home, two feet of snow on the ground and hosting our good friends Colin and Valerie, and, other than a “special dinner” my wife planned, I didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary.
After a morning of walking the ranch and marveling at the beauty of drifted snow, I settled into the house, built a fire, and chatted with my wife as she started prepping for dinner; shortly thereafter, Colin came into the kitchen and announced he was heading into Crested Butte to look around and would be back in a few hours; I thought nothing of it, why would I?
The December sun sets early in Colorado, usually a little after four; a sure signal, back when I drank alcohol, that it was time to pour a bourbon; my drink of choice was Bookers. As I finished my first bourbon, Colin opened the front door holding a bag, sporting the silliest looking grin; something was up, and I was the target. With little time to waste Colin walked over and handed me the bag; I quickly pulled out the contents and realized Colin’s trip to town had a motive, he had gone to the self-proclaimed shop that could deliver “the highest high in the Rockies”; he had bought gummies.
I had never done pot, and wasn’t keen on this; peer pressure, Bookers at 8,300 feet of elevation, and curiosity got the best of me, and I took one. I was not impressed, after 40 minutes I loudly announced I “didn’t feel anything, it hadn’t worked, so I was going to take another one.” Not a bright idea, within 30 minutes I was slumped in my favorite chair, head tilted to the right, my right hand tucked inside the top of my pants, and drool running down my chin; I looked like a bum and felt nothing. It didn’t end there, the whole evening was shot, I don’t remember dinner; hell I don’t remember anything. Those gummies had dulled my senses and made me numb. The next morning, I realized pot wasn’t for me.
We are one week away from the presidential election; it case you hadn’t noticed. Americans are anxious, nervous, scared, and worried; anxiety is at an all-time high, and why not?
We have one candidate who has made it difficult to know exactly what she will do if she is elected; maybe it is because she doesn’t know, or maybe she doesn’t want to tell us. Can you imagine a board of directors hiring a CEO without knowing what their plans were? That wouldn’t happen. Her approach makes it difficult to have confidence in voting for her. Until you look at the other choice; he makes it very clear what he will do.
Trump says that after the election the country may need: the military to restore order and eliminate the forces from within that are a threat, to arrest election workers, and go after the press to punish them; he describes a post-election environment that is unrecognizable in historic norms, and this is if he wins. God, forbid he loses, according to Trump; America is done, there will be violence in the streets, as his supporters will not accept him losing, there will no longer be a democracy, immigrants are going to rape and murder all of us and every quiet decent community will be overrun by bloodthirsty immigrants who came here to attack us. I don’t know about you but neither outcome seems pleasant.
Friday, we learned the richest man in the world has been talking privately to Vladamir Putin; really, is that okay? Are you okay with that? Think about it; two people with enormous power chatting privately, one is a madman, the other is the President of Russia. I don’t like the sound of that.
Last week we also learned that half of Trump’s former cabinet, eight of his senior military and national security team members, and his former Chief of Staff believe, if elected, he is a threat to our country and its future. Yikes, that doesn’t sound good. Of course, when asked, Trump supporters typically discount the whistleblowers and say they don’t believe these distinguished leaders and that they are dishonest; I am thrilled to hear that, I am glad they aren’t to be trusted; that would be terrible if it were true. Thankfully another source supports the view that the former honorable people can’t be relied on; Fox News said they have an agenda, and our dear leader fired them anyway. Oh, thank goodness.
I don’t know what to think, we have one candidate who seems uncertain or another who weaves when he talks, but always reminds us that if he isn’t elected our precious dogs and cats are in danger; oh, and we can’t forget the geese, as Trump said, “where have all the geese gone?” I don’t know if this to be true, but I think they have migrated south for the winter; mind you this isn’t a happy annual ritual for the geese; they now must hide for the next several months in a region that is well armed and ready to shoot; it is hard to be a goose.
What if this is all a sick joke? What if the greatest country in the world isn’t about to elect someone that most of us, if given a choice, wouldn’t vote for? What if Trump had continued to do what he did best? Selling junk and reality TV shows? What if we didn’t have to worry every time, we said something to a neighbor or a stranger, we were going to find out they believed the government controlled the weather? What about the real loons like Steve Bannon and Steven Miller? What if we had never heard of those guys and their frightening agenda for a new America? I don’t know, but I think it would be nice if this was a joke and we weren’t faced with this.
I have traveled a lot this year and I must tell you; America is not a garbage can; it is wonderful, with beautiful places and amazing people. Despite the dystopian view of what is going on and how much fear we should have from the boogey man that is going to take away our existence, this is still the best country in the world, by a lot. But we are stressed out; tired of being lied to and manipulated, we are over hearing about crazy conspiracies and watching people we love lose their mind going down rabbit holes looking for something that doesn’t exist.
I don’t know what is going to happen next week, but I do know we are going to elect a new president; all of us crazy, ill-informed, delusional people, are going to vote; God help us. It is a scary time, and I think it’s okay to admit we all feel a bit wound up. Maybe I will sleep better when this is all over, whenever that is; in the interim anybody got a gummy?
