Thank you for Failing

What if I changed the word failing to “trying,” does that simple word adjustment immediately provide a different perspective? Not in the connation of a participation ribbon, everyone who tries gets a trophy for showing up kind of thing; no, I am referring to taking risks; trying to do something to make a difference, to create an outsized outcome which may impact people. What do you think; are people more accommodating of a person who puts it all out there when the outcome isn’t labeled as success or failure, but is seen through the lens of what they did to succeed?

When a first responder arrives at the scene of a tragic accident and immediately jumps into action to save the most seriously injured person, only to see them die, we don’t call the person who couldn’t save the patient a failure, we thank them for trying. When you ask a service person to help you at the airport alter your flight plans, and you witness them attempt everything they can to make it happen, only to hear them say, “I’m sorry but there isn’t anything I can do.” Most people thank the person for trying; they don’t label them a failure.

I have a soft spot for people who try and fail; I admire them. You can call it a nod to Teddy Roosevelt’s famous “In the arena speech.” I believe vehemently that much of the advances and progress that have happened in the world is a result of people taking risks; I also believe just as strongly, most people who take risks fail, often. It comes with the territory, if you are leaning into something that is new or hard, you are poised to suffer setbacks. Do we call the men and women who explored unchartered territories in the 19th century wild West failures if they were killed crossing the plains? No, we call them adventurers or settlers.

In my experience there seems to be an interesting dichotomy that exists with how people think about those who take risks, based on the type of risk. This gap has a lot to do with where you live, how you see things, and what your experience is, taking risks. As an example, I grew up in Knoxville, Tennessee, a great little town, frequently mentioned as a great place to raise kids. It isn’t described as a place for innovation and taking risks; in fact, having lived there a few times since college, I can safely say the town doesn’t like risk; it punishes those who take risks and fail. I am reminded of a conversation with the founder of a company that raised $40 million in financing to launch an innovative, alternative solution for truckers to use at truck stops; the idea seemed to have merit, but alas didn’t work. The net result? The founder felt so unwelcome in Knoxville he felt compelled to leave.

By contrast in Silicon Valley, a business failure based on new technology offers an upside for the founder of the failed endeavor; in most instances they are rewarded with funding for a new opportunity. The thought being they learned from what they did, and given their willingness to pursue big ideas, they are the kind of person that will fail their way to great success.

Have you ever heard the expression failing forward? It is another way of describing a person who builds on each failure and ultimately gets its right. I just completed reading American Prometheus, the biography of Robert Oppenheimer; it is a very good read. It also is the story of someone who wasn’t afraid to try things and explore the edges of what he was doing until he and his colleagues found success. By the way, the world is full of those people; I once heard the founder of AOL joke that people liked to call him an overnight success for his leadership of AOL; he said he always responded that is true, if you count a decade of trying to get it right as overnight.

In time I have come to accept that most people don’t want to take risks, aren’t interested in pushing something so hard that failure is as likely an outcome as success, and sadly, have a hard time understanding those people who do take risks, and thus struggle to see failure as anything other than a stain on the person who didn’t reach their goal. Not only have I accepted this fact, but I also no longer find frustration with people who see the world through that prism. Thankfully, neither do those who try things every day that might lead to a litany of failures before the moment it all comes together. And after all, aren’t we glad there are really smart people who aren’t afraid of failing? If we lived in a country where no one took a chance to do something to better the world for fear of failing and the corresponding incriminations that followed, we would struggle. Scientists understand this, they recognize they must grind to seek truth and progress, and we need scientists.

The US is blessed with people who are built differently, who don’t care how many times they get it wrong, because they believe one day they will get it right. They are supported and rewarded by financial supporters that understand innovation will come from years of toil; it is a system that works. It is also a system that has changed. We are rapidly moving in a direction where a small number of people hold the power to innovate and the masses of Americans who used to offer prior innovations are overrun by more scalable, powerful machines. AI is a great example, although its use might be democratized, the ability for innovation and advancement of AI rests with a tiny group of people and funding sources that constrict everyone else from participating. Said differently, almost any innovation that measurably changes the lives of the people in Knoxville will come from someone outside of Knoxville and likely from someone who has never been there. This isn’t the 1950s anymore, or even the 1990s.

For my money, we should reward people who fail; not because they try and should get a ribbon, but because most people who fail trying something bold won’t stop until they make a difference in the world. We should also internalize if you aren’t willing to take risks, that’s okay; just be careful not to be too critical of the person who is putting it all out there.

And one more thing, if you ever meet a person who is wildly “successful” and they say they haven’t had a failure in their life you should pause for a moment; in my experience, they are either delusional, lying, or the luckiest SOB that ever walked the planet. Mistakes happen, failures occur, people learn, they get better and in time, maybe they strike the right note and get it right.

Have you ever heard a coach say one of their players has a short memory? What they are describing is someone who doesn’t dwell on the play before, when they got beat, they look forward and work to win the next play. In the end, with talent, luck, hard work, and willingness to fail, they are likely to be recognized.

I know this is a strange topic for the day before the New Year, and frankly for some people this topic is never received well. I have encountered many people in my life who can’t embrace reality and think of the world as one big happy road to success based on nothing but hard work; those people use to drive me crazy; now I simply ignore them. Times are very volatile and all of us will likely take some steps forward and some steps back in the coming days. We should embrace that and accept it; we should also be grateful for those who wake up every day failing but remain unwilling to quit; we need to support those who represent our future; we should thank them for their willingness to fail.