Legions of the Miserable
Unhappy people are nothing new, and sadly neither is misery. It would take years of writing to chronicle all the examples in history where human beings have inflicted suffering on their fellow brothers and sisters; it has always existed, and I dare say always will. I can get overwhelmed thinking about it and discouraged at the presence of evil that remains in the world today. If you are the recipient of organized evil, it is understandable how you might live in despair, unable to find hope for a better existence. I feel for those people and, I am afraid naïve, assuming their lot in life will improve; nevertheless, I wish their circumstances would change. We should all hope and pray for that.
Accepting that suffering exists in every country in the world is a legitimate concern and one I can find my mind wondering about from time to time. However, lately I have been more consumed with what I think has become a uniquely recent experience; the throng of people in this country who are unhappy and seemingly miserable all the damn time. I’m not talking about people who are homeless, or living well below the poverty line, or even terminally ill patients and their caregivers—in my view I understand if they struggle to feel anything but distress. I am talking about your average person who seems to have found a desire to be outraged by every little thing.
I know you have noticed it, it isn’t hard; it doesn’t even require you to watch the news, although the news broadcasts are full of people who seem worked up all the time. No, if you want to see a slice of americana and its drive towards misery, get out of the house and talk to people, or watch them. Examples are everywhere, from the bumper stickers on people’s cars, to the clothes they wear espousing their deeply held principles, or the conversation you overhear or are engaged in, people have a massive, angry, chip on their shoulder.
Obviously not everyone is angry, but I must admit, it feels like the majority. In fact, if you are determined not to engage in volatile, tribal-related conversations, you tend to stick out; you are labeled the quite one in the crowd who exhibits little passion for today’s struggles or is pollyannish about “what is really happening.”
When did being a victim become a thing? Seriously, it’s a fair question; today victimhood isn’t just practiced, it is sought. No matter what happens, if it doesn’t go your way, you’re a victim; I don’t get it. I’m just old school enough to know that not everything works out; it is called life and, nothing new here, life is hard.
It is astounding to watch leaders and prominent people who have substantially more advantages than the average person, whine all the time about how they are attacked or a victim of something. How fragile they have become. More worrisome, their fragility appears to be contagious.
Outrage is also spreading; there appears to be little to no appreciation or awareness that not everything is a big deal. It feels like the outraged are following the established adage, throw a bunch of shit on the wall and see what sticks and gives them desired attention. There is also a need to feel important; a person goes into pick up a pizza and doesn’t like the personality of the worker behind the counter… They now feel compelled to write a review on Yelp describing their treatment, and the reason they rated the joint a one (if only 0 were an option). We have all seen it, and frankly it is embarrassing; I don’t care if someone got their feelings hurt if the pizza deli put pepperoni on all the pizza instead of half of it. There are so many other things that matter.
It is interesting, when you talk to a person who is aware they are entering the last weeks of their life, you won’t hear silly complaints about silly things, you won’t hear them regale their audience with all the times they were a victim; life has become too short for that noise. Why is that? Because they are forced to have perspective, forced to prioritize, forced to focus on what is important. It is a shame more people can’t find that mindset earlier in life.
I am writing about this subject because it concerns me, and I think about it frequently. Are we becoming a society full of narcissists; unable to think beyond our own self-absorbed needs? I don’t know, but I fear we have become more tribal and thus unwilling to have perspective beyond our own nose.
Tribalism is a funny thing, when you bring up the subject of people acting like a victim or complaining about being slighted by everything, both sides point aggressively at the other side as the only culprit; of course they do, that is their playbook and really all they have. What they fail to understand is neither party has cornered the market on whining. Take for example the outrage conservatives had over the opening ceremony of the Paris Olympics. In case you missed it, the producer of the evening included a scene that featured drag queens depicting what many felt was a portrayal of The Last Supper; of course, they denied the scene was inspired by Leonardo da Vinci’s work, but the damage was done. For me I thought the production was unnecessary and tasteless and I turned the channel, but that’s not the point. I can’t tell you how many people I know that were so outraged by that scene, they boycotted the Olympics; all two weeks of it, seriously. Yep, they were so distraught and traumatized by seeing this that they couldn’t stomach watching athletes from all over the world, who had nothing to do with the opening ceremony’s performance, compete. Thank God the competitors aren’t as fragile as those who couldn’t find the strength to endure the Olympics; for the record they missed a joyous fifteen days of amazing athletes displaying their talents.
Liberals are no different; you better be careful to not say the wrong thing. The vocabulary police are always on call and never afraid to point out when something is said that might cause “irreparable harm.” Words can hurt and words matter, but it is rare when words rise to the level of creating a crisis that people can’t recover from.
I guess it seems like I am on my soapbox, and sorry, I might be. But come on; going through life looking for reasons to be unhappy is silly. If you live long enough, life will give you real reasons to be unhappy, you will have illnesses, and you will lose loved ones; it is a fact. It is also true that there will be countless times when you can allow yourself to get outraged and despair over trivial things.
Whenever I observe people losing sight of the forest for the trees, I think of a book by Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” If you haven’t read it, it is worth the time. Frankl relays the story of his years surviving a German concentration camp. It describes suffering on a level that is hard to internalize; but he also describes the human spirit, the need for us to learn to suffer, the importance of finding a purpose, and the power of grace.
I wonder what Frankl would think today. He survived a brutal regime that killed over 6 million jews in conditions that are unspeakable. How would he view the vast numbers of people who live on the edge waiting to have their feelings hurt; what would he say about today’s legions of the miserable?
